What I'm feeling

I was diagnosed with diabetes in 1999 and over the years my family and friends would say "Doug, how is your diabetes going?" and most of the time I would say "good" and not really elaborate on things. So now I'm going to go ahead and make up for the past 14 years........

There's this overwhelming stress of thinking life needs to be lived 100% spot on and you have to manage your blood sugar to be 90-110 to avoid any problems long term. I lived scared for so many years, I recall the first five years I was afraid to go to bed at night if my blood sugar was less than 200 because god forbid I go low in my sleep and die, I was doing my body no good by feeling this way.  During one of my appointments with my endo I brought up my concern of long term issues and how not managing your diabetes well can impact long term health implications. She took out a piece of paper and said "based on managing an A1c of X you're risk of complications are as big as this piece of paper, if you bring it down to Y your risk is cut in half as she tore the piece of paper in half, she then said if it is Z it is cut in half again, and if it is B your chance of long term problems is cut again in half.

Pretty clear here, you have to do your best to manage diabetes to maintain an average blood sugar and the closer to an A1c of 6.0 the better. When I was originally diagnosed I took two types of insulin and those were NPH and R. The program worked initially, I would take NPH at bedtime and in the morning I would mix my NPH and R depending on what I was thinking I would eat for lunch and what time I would be eating lunch.

Fortunately I worked at a place where my schedule was relatively flexible and I could eat lunch at the same time every day, the problem, I may not be hungry or want to eat the carbs discussed in that plan when the time came. Eventually we switched to Lantus and Humalog and I really enjoyed this combination. I could eat what I want, when I wanted or I could skip food all together. I can't recall if this is when I started gaining all the weight but either way I look at it I am glad I was able to do things this way. One problem is both insulin bottles looked the same and I am/was a bit of an OCD Freak and I would get scared wondering "Did I take Lantus when I was supposed to take Humalog or visa versa" Eventually I was on a pen for my Humalog and a vial for the Lantus so it was quite easy for me to distinguish between the two and not have a concern which I was taking.

I never was a fan of the idea of a insulin pump but as the years went on I decided it was something I wanted to try and I'm very happy I did! I've learned more in the last 16 months on the pump than I did the previous 12 years on insulin injections. Here are a couple words I had no idea existed "Bolus" and "basal" how did I make it to the doctor for 12 years and never get informed of these two things???!!!! I'm still trying to get a handle on how they play in together but I have a big understanding vs a year and a half ago.

A continuous glucose monitor is also a huge difference maker for someone with diabetes, even if not on a pump I would highly encourage talking to your doctor about getting on one. You really can see how your sugars are effected on a more immediate impact if you take a bolus injection just before you eat vs. 15-20 minutes before you eat, the long term effect on that bolus is pretty huge.

So to my family and friends that are wondering how I am doing with managing my diabetes I would like to give you an honest answer and say that I'm pleased with how I've been managing things the past 5-8 years and most happy with the past 1 to 2 years. I'm unsure what damage has been done based on how I treated things in the beginning but as my endo said the quicker you realize what you're doing and change the habits the longer normal life you'll have.

I'm most pleased with lowering my A1c from 8.6 to 7.0 in my last doctor visit. I look forward to getting it below 6.0, I'm even more excited about the #doc and all the support that is out there. I'm also excited to be the Chapter Chairperson for Insulindependence for the inaugural years of the Twin Cities Chapter.

Also for those that ask "how is your diabetes" be prepared for an answer. I once saw high level employee of the bank and asked "how's business?" and I got a 15 minute answer. Be prepared if you're going to ask me "how is your diabetes going?" to get an educated answer on how things are going and what the challenge of the day may or may not be!

Who ever actually read all of this you are a better person that me, I would have been bored at the second paragraph.

Don't forget to test!
Sincerely,
Salguodmai